Crap poems vol. 1

Poems so bad that they're now good?

I’ve always been a story guy. I never liked poems. But why should I even like them?

Poems are unfair. They convey more in two stanzas than a two page story. So I don’t like poems.

I always had a certain structure in mind when it came to poems. Having read poems like Daffodils by William Wordsworth and The Diverting History of John Giplin by William Cowper in school I found poetry very difficult to comprehend. I wasn’t a good student of literature and had my own challenges in understanding these but when I read poems like the one below during lockdown, I was confused.

Source here

Confused and disappointed to even think whether this can be called a poem or not? And if by chance it is, then what was Mr. Wordsworth and others doing?

They could’ve
written simple
sentences in this format
and have called it
a
poem!

No?

Mr. Wordsworth when he sees modern poems.

What baffled me even more was the views and craze such pieces got. It was unbelievable! This got me thinking. If we are in the free world and this is what is trending, I can add humor to it and can intentionally write bad poems.

Bazinga!

And this is how crap poems were born! Below, I’m sharing a few of the masterpieces I wrote during the lockdown. I’ve plenty of those in my arsenal. So will add more later. Enjoy!

Microwave

Roses are red
I’m not brave

This poems needs
to rhyme
So I’ll write
microwave.

-another.Abhishek

Tik-tok

Moriarty
would’ve killed
himself
with a rock

If he saw
Sherlock creating
cringe videos on
Tik-tok

-another.Abhishek

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I know. Your heart is aching and you’re too stunned to speak about these world class poems. But, I also know that if you’ve read the recent poems on the internet, this ain’t the worst. In fact, it might even be up there with the “accidental genius” category — where the worse it gets, the better it becomes.

These lockdown poems of mine were born out of boredom, confusion, and a bit of rebellious fun. I mean, if people are going wild over random words slapped together and calling it poetry, then why not toss my hat into the ring? At least mine comes with a punchline.

Bad poetry, I’ve come to realize, is an art of its own. It doesn’t have to make sense, or follow any structure—it just has to exist, and maybe, make someone laugh (or groan). Whether you love it, hate it, or are left scratching your head, it gets a reaction. And isn’t that what poetry is all about? Expression. Connection. Or just plain confusion?

Now, here’s the million-dollar question: If you had to write the worst poem ever, what would it be about? Give it a shot.

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