Almost fell off the chair imagining you on a Bajaj Chetak facing backwards with a cooler stand caged around you. As always - funny and thoughtful. Loved it!
Take a bow another Abhi. You have written and captured this so beautifully. I could relate to so much of it. BTW, I am tall but confidence didn't come to me naturally. It is like "chirag tale andhera".
Thank you Rakhi ji. Your comment just makes my day. You've been so vocal and appreciative of my essays that I wait for your thoughts. Thank you for reading this :)
And being tall didn't help you? That's such a bummer. It should've. Did ‘how’s the weather up there?’ jokes spoil it for you?
You just made my day by saying that Abhi. It helped from the outside very much. Inside it was all meh only. To top that I had a prominent stoop, so I wasn't even using my height to my advantage, instead people kept telling me to straighten up 😆
An underconfident growing girl child can't deal with all the growth I guess.
Thank you so much Ritika for the big words. Makes me so happy to see my thoughts made you laugh while at the same time the real message got through. Thank you for reading :)
Growing up in an Indian middle class household often feels less like a childhood and more like a rigorous training ground for financial survival. For as long as I can remember, getting a 'secure job' was the only acceptable ambition, conditioned into me as the ultimate escape route. But this constant pressure fundamentally eroded my self confidence. It created a deep seated fear of misstep. Today, even though I have the job and no longer face real money problems, the trauma remains. The simple act of spending money on a small reward for myself instantly spirals into an hour of financial panic. It makes me question the very foundation of my identity are these my own desires, or just the result of a lifelong programming?
hey sorry I missed replying to this earlier. what you have mentioned hits home. especially the being overcautious one. the fear of misstep is real and getting out is very tough.
I would highly recommend you to try spending money on small things which make you happy, without any judgment and it helps a lot. I starting doing the same ever since I joined corporate. You can read more about it here: https://anotherabhishek.substack.com/p/of-rituals-and-routines
It seemed like I was looking thru life from a birdseye perspective, one thing that I’m deeply grateful to god is for having the privilege to connect with people from different backgrounds and ages. As someone who was one of the most ‘confident’ in school and was always out there performing on stage and receiving some of the other award I failed to understand how much of envy there is around us. A lot of people envied me, but I’m retrospect I envied them. The thing about confidence is really ‘fake it till you make it’ or atleast it is that when you’re a teenager. This was a wonderful read I really liked the bit about humour being the coping mechanism because all throughout highschool, especially 11th and 12th. Times were deeply rough, and everyone knew that I was struggling but no one cared because all I ever did irl was laugh at my own misery or sorrows or wtv. Smthg I think about v often is the way you write is how I am in real life in a community setup haha anyways, always a pleasure :)
that’s the first counter comment I have received on this and I guess, fake it till you make it does actually work better than I thought. thank you for sharing this with us.
appreciate you taking out time to read this as a homework xP
The most uncomfortable thought this article left me with is that maybe I’ve spent years trying to build confidence, when what I really needed was to unlearn years of comparison.
A question I’m still sitting with: If you had grown up in an environment where comparison didn’t exist, mistakes weren’t punished, and love wasn’t tied to performance… who would you be today?
thank you for reading Manish. To answer your question, I honestly do not know the exact answer but I believe I would not be questioning my confidence and maybe my humor wouldn’t have been this evolved.
You’ve managed to capture the exact, heavy atmosphere of being constantly 'reviewed' from birth. Turning that deep emotional truth into laughable article, while still making the reader to feel the ache of going through it at the exact same time, is incredible. You definitely have that reckless behavior of a truly an exceptional writer with an exceptional voice.
I at times wonder, how much time and effort goes into writing such praise loaded comments. Whatever be the answer, I am humbled. thank you for doing this so consistently :)
It just took 2 min pause of thinkin of hawwww people can be this creative and 3 mins to write the actual comment. sometimes it just a pause of appreciation :)
I read the whole essay with an awkward smile on my face. There are so many things to unlearn and learn again, when it comes to healing from the middle class mentality, where struggles are glorified for no reason. I wish to be on that journey with you.
This easay highlighted the thought in my head about parenting our daughter and now I know that you are going to do a great job at it, one mashed banana at a time. :)
This is one of the most beautifully hard hitting blogs that I have written from you in a long time. Every word it was brilliant, and not to forget incredibly relatable.
I also believe confidence building has a lot to be with the people around us.. especially our parents. The fact that ours were probably the ones who were busy struggling than trying to look cool or confident and thus they passed the baton to us — I feel being confident also comes from the environment we are in and mostly people who think that we are capable of performing …
This essay felt like an awkward side hug between two underconfident people who, after pulling away, shared a laugh because they both understood the awkwardness that had passed between them.
Thank god this article arrived right in time, i was almost about to add to cart a course on ‘trillionaire morning routine.’ Wondeful wonderful article. And i am no writing ki devi, but as a long time reader I have to say this, you just keep getting better with each post!!
Almost fell off the chair imagining you on a Bajaj Chetak facing backwards with a cooler stand caged around you. As always - funny and thoughtful. Loved it!
Take a bow another Abhi. You have written and captured this so beautifully. I could relate to so much of it. BTW, I am tall but confidence didn't come to me naturally. It is like "chirag tale andhera".
Thank you Rakhi ji. Your comment just makes my day. You've been so vocal and appreciative of my essays that I wait for your thoughts. Thank you for reading this :)
And being tall didn't help you? That's such a bummer. It should've. Did ‘how’s the weather up there?’ jokes spoil it for you?
You just made my day by saying that Abhi. It helped from the outside very much. Inside it was all meh only. To top that I had a prominent stoop, so I wasn't even using my height to my advantage, instead people kept telling me to straighten up 😆
An underconfident growing girl child can't deal with all the growth I guess.
ah! there's always a catch. that's a real bummer
Your essay is amazing. I am still in disbelief about how someone can write those everyday experiences in such a funny and eloquent way. 👏👏
You definitely have a talent for observation for everyday middle class experiences and behavior. 👏
Thank you so much Ritika for the big words. Makes me so happy to see my thoughts made you laugh while at the same time the real message got through. Thank you for reading :)
Growing up in an Indian middle class household often feels less like a childhood and more like a rigorous training ground for financial survival. For as long as I can remember, getting a 'secure job' was the only acceptable ambition, conditioned into me as the ultimate escape route. But this constant pressure fundamentally eroded my self confidence. It created a deep seated fear of misstep. Today, even though I have the job and no longer face real money problems, the trauma remains. The simple act of spending money on a small reward for myself instantly spirals into an hour of financial panic. It makes me question the very foundation of my identity are these my own desires, or just the result of a lifelong programming?
hey sorry I missed replying to this earlier. what you have mentioned hits home. especially the being overcautious one. the fear of misstep is real and getting out is very tough.
I would highly recommend you to try spending money on small things which make you happy, without any judgment and it helps a lot. I starting doing the same ever since I joined corporate. You can read more about it here: https://anotherabhishek.substack.com/p/of-rituals-and-routines
Hahaha... It's hard to get over with that image of you on scooter with the cooler...😆
I think for that little age, you covering up with humor through all the situations...it's amazing.
haha. even I couldn't get that image out of my head xP
thank you for reading :)
It seemed like I was looking thru life from a birdseye perspective, one thing that I’m deeply grateful to god is for having the privilege to connect with people from different backgrounds and ages. As someone who was one of the most ‘confident’ in school and was always out there performing on stage and receiving some of the other award I failed to understand how much of envy there is around us. A lot of people envied me, but I’m retrospect I envied them. The thing about confidence is really ‘fake it till you make it’ or atleast it is that when you’re a teenager. This was a wonderful read I really liked the bit about humour being the coping mechanism because all throughout highschool, especially 11th and 12th. Times were deeply rough, and everyone knew that I was struggling but no one cared because all I ever did irl was laugh at my own misery or sorrows or wtv. Smthg I think about v often is the way you write is how I am in real life in a community setup haha anyways, always a pleasure :)
that’s the first counter comment I have received on this and I guess, fake it till you make it does actually work better than I thought. thank you for sharing this with us.
appreciate you taking out time to read this as a homework xP
The most uncomfortable thought this article left me with is that maybe I’ve spent years trying to build confidence, when what I really needed was to unlearn years of comparison.
A question I’m still sitting with: If you had grown up in an environment where comparison didn’t exist, mistakes weren’t punished, and love wasn’t tied to performance… who would you be today?
thank you for reading Manish. To answer your question, I honestly do not know the exact answer but I believe I would not be questioning my confidence and maybe my humor wouldn’t have been this evolved.
but too many maybes, so nothing certain :)
You’ve managed to capture the exact, heavy atmosphere of being constantly 'reviewed' from birth. Turning that deep emotional truth into laughable article, while still making the reader to feel the ache of going through it at the exact same time, is incredible. You definitely have that reckless behavior of a truly an exceptional writer with an exceptional voice.
I at times wonder, how much time and effort goes into writing such praise loaded comments. Whatever be the answer, I am humbled. thank you for doing this so consistently :)
It just took 2 min pause of thinkin of hawwww people can be this creative and 3 mins to write the actual comment. sometimes it just a pause of appreciation :)
hahahahahahaha. I’m still laughing at 2 min of thinkin of hawwwwww
hahahahaha.
based on true event xp
I read the whole essay with an awkward smile on my face. There are so many things to unlearn and learn again, when it comes to healing from the middle class mentality, where struggles are glorified for no reason. I wish to be on that journey with you.
This easay highlighted the thought in my head about parenting our daughter and now I know that you are going to do a great job at it, one mashed banana at a time. :)
This is one of the most beautifully hard hitting blogs that I have written from you in a long time. Every word it was brilliant, and not to forget incredibly relatable.
Thank you so much for reading Rajjath! Glad you liked it :)
I also believe confidence building has a lot to be with the people around us.. especially our parents. The fact that ours were probably the ones who were busy struggling than trying to look cool or confident and thus they passed the baton to us — I feel being confident also comes from the environment we are in and mostly people who think that we are capable of performing …
confidence I believe is more of conditioning and less of innate quality. so, yeah same thoughts
This essay felt like an awkward side hug between two underconfident people who, after pulling away, shared a laugh because they both understood the awkwardness that had passed between them.
Thoroughly enjoyed it!
hahahahahahahaha. this was a such a nice gist to my essay. haha.
thank you for reading this :)
Really enjoyed reading this and loved how you depicted the little intricacies of middle class life through your humour.
thank you for reading Disha :)
Thank god this article arrived right in time, i was almost about to add to cart a course on ‘trillionaire morning routine.’ Wondeful wonderful article. And i am no writing ki devi, but as a long time reader I have to say this, you just keep getting better with each post!!
ah! glad I saved your money. please transfer them to me via UPI xP
thank you so much for the high praise and the kind words. You made me so happy :')
Hear hear, thanks for sharing abhishek. As the third girl child in Indian middle class household been there, felt that. Still recovering 😁.
I hope the recovery is fast enough for you to enjoy life to the fullest, with confidence loaded up to the brim :D
thank you for reading this :)
Nice one, Abhishek.
I am always happy to see people diss self-help books. :D
haha thank you Rohan.
I don't like self help books either and that is pretty evident now xP